Acquittal of a Bad Man

 The Z-Man, acquitted, found to be Not Guilty in Amerika for chasing down in a car Trayvon Martin, who was on foot to share the evening with his brother, now  running for his life from a bogey man in the night.   The Z Man is found Not Guilty for getting out of the car, taking out his gun and murdering young Trayvon in cold blood.  We could hear the terrified scream from this young son of the Martin family rip through our hearts on the 911 operator recording.  The Z-Man, the bogey man, the sick bad man goes free for the murder of innocence.  One more martyr for bloody Amerika with a slaveholding genocidal soul.

 Rest in Peace, Trayvon Martin, in the love of your family and in the tears of a nation that one more beautiful, promising, precious Black youth is martyred.  You are precious.  You will not be forgotten.

Turn Turn Turn, a Glimpse of Pete and Toshi Seeger in her memory, 2013

Pete Seeger at 93 singing Turn Turn Turn with verses rewritten by his wife Toshi Ota Seeger.  Toshi passed on as 91 this year.

Working with the Forest Service, 2013

I will say personally, there is a different feeling this year working with the Forest Service for the Coming of Age Ceremony, and I have hope this feeling goes through the complete process.   This year Region 5 has provided us with a Tribal Liaison who brought with him the cultural staff for the Forest which oversees our sacred lands.  Although Region 5, in the last weeks of our communication yanked the Tribal Liaison from the position of working with us and replaced him with the very next person in rank with the Forest office under a very hateful Forest Ranger, he seems to be open to working with us.  His superior has never from the time Chief began to hold the Coming of Age Ceremonies for women where it was supposed to be, never met with us nor acknowledged our need to talk with the Forest about our use of our former homeland.  Also involved is the person who is the intermediate Supervisor of several Forests, the original one who refused anything but a voluntary closure of the river, allowing only the haters and drunks to race, and shout, and rubberneck through our ceremony to come through.

We will have something to celebrate together if this new team has  come together to help the tribe, or at the least, stop interfering with the tribe to peacefully bring a young girl through her womanhood ceremony in a dignified manner, a beautiful ceremony, Balas Chonos,  It will be something that she receives everything she is supposed to from  the spirit of the place, the ancestors, surrounded by those who care about her, whether tribal or by a government agency which sees values in such things and she has a chance to   grow to be a strong Winnemem woman.  I want to share that these ceremonies work in the most contemporary sense in period when it's so hard to grow up.  Gangs, drug and alcohol addiction, depression, teen suicide, teen pregnancy so many things that can turn a young life into a downward spiral.  In fact, the generations who parented and grandparented this generation have such stories and some survived, many did not.  But 100 percent of these young ones who live at the Village, grow up taking care of ceremony, and go through a Coming of Age, are addiction free, are happy, know they are important to the tribe, step up to their traditional roles, or go to college -- some both --get a job. They make good and healthy choices.  It is that important.  We all want Alicia to have a good life.  Babers, Winona, Jessica and even Marisa, our next Chief, came through a ceremony riddled with attacks, especially Marisa.  It angered us to see those LEO's in the trees above the young women's camp ogling our youth through binoculars but we were in a ceremonial mode.  We did have fears that our young women going through stressful ceremonies would not get those gifts of ceremony.  So we prayed harder.  And so far, it seems they're all ok, making good decisions.  But for Alicia, we would, of course, love for her to have all the attention she should have, and all the blessings of that place.

It is not a small feat, nor is it of narrow importance in the scheme of things to come together  -- Forest government bureaucrats and tribe -- so a young person stays on a good path of life.  In the context of Indian Country it is phenomenal thing.  The Winnemem like most of Native tribes are not materially well off at all with the weight of colonialization and negative governmental policies used against them.  But the Winnemem are ceremonially rich and attached just as their ancestors were  to their sacred lands keeping the ceremonies alive, therefore keeping the sacredness alive in their sacred places.  When Forest and Tribe come together to do this for a young person, one more person who is born into poverty but not stunted by it, and instead  who finds goodness in what really matters, and then grows to be an adult who gives goodness and raises the next generation, it is not a small feat and it is not just for this tribe, this region, but for the world.  I'm a school teacher of 35 years and I know this to be true.  That's what I hope we are accomplishing this time.  That's what my prayer has been, that that is our common goal young girl by girl for as long as this sacred river flows.  I approach our July 19th meeting between Forest Service and Tribe with cautious optimism.

Gasland Exposes the War of Corporation Against Families and Earth. And They've Stolen Your Government

Watching Gasland 2.  Every American should see it.  We have political leaders from the very top to local level who really don't care if the fracking industry is killing families in their state, leaving towns ghost towns and, in fact, under Obama and Hilary Clinton's leadership has imported it all over the world.  Water has no boundaries -- and nether does the unimaginable destruction the  X-treme industry of fracking  wreaks all over the world on drinkable water, air and earth stability.   The extraction industry --oil, gas Xtreme industries which is destroying water, air, and is responsible for causing earthquakes -- are given the right to sue landowners, even towns of landowners who take them to court -- for example, to sue for the cost of hooking them up to water.

There are studies which show how extraction practices cause earthquakes.  In  California, the "shale field" which Brown has opened up for fracking has the St. Andreas fault running through it.  Very very vulnerable, your water, air and earth that supports you.  Brown is no different from the governors of NY, of PA.  Or our President.  These politicians are living off the Fracking Industry.  This ecological hell created by x-treme industries is the "clean natural gas which will mean jobs for 100 years" and moving us off of fossil fuel the President is selling.   What has been done to other countries has indeed come to this country, the desecration to feed our insatiable addiction to  fossil. fuel   That pretty much covers it, doesn't it.  Do your leaders care about anyone but themselves.  That is a small group to care about if you are considered a world leader.

Are you outraged?  Obama also signed into law his first term something which stripped people of the right to express outrage.  At first I thought it was a cowardly response to Occupy.  Now I know it was that he is in the back pocket of the X-treme fracking industries to stop actions of outrage by Americans whose homes, health, and happiness, the ability to protect their children has been stolen from them.

They are creating a revolution, perhaps a revolution of values because it's about the basics -- food, air, water, health, the stability of the earth.  Their language is military.  They call Americans insurgents. 
See the documentary while we can do something.

Kyu Sakamoto

June, 1963, #1 on the Top 100 in the USA.  Kyu Sakamoto meant so much to me as a sansei, and the fact that #1 was at the top of the charts when I graduated from high school.  My last summer vaca going into college had the sweet sound of my language, a language my second grade teacher shamed me out of and the longing for young love, and smelled of cool grassy evenings after a hot summer Idaho day.  Kyu Sakamoto's song was the last song of innocence because after that the war came home as classmates became a number of war's body count, Kennedy was assassinated and King, Bobby and Malcolm Our young growing up years were littered with the murdered hopes of our heroes so that by the time we left to become the rest of our future we no longer believed anything good stayed around.  And we moved on.  Kyu Sakamoto sang me sweetly out of Idaho Days.

The Longest Most Awkward Breakup EVER!

Our daughter is out looking for a car within her price range.  She's been paying off a debt for awhile so a car loan is out of the question.  This is just another blip of the most bumbling clumsy breakup ever.  Maki's ex has not had a lot of experience in committed relationships.  I believe this was his first.  And it looks like breaking up is no more a natural thing for him as building a relationship was.  Nice guy, maybe.  Incredibly clumsy about things when they are important -- like commitment, and being sensitive to another person's good judgement regarding her future as much as he is interested in his.  

The load is not on him.  It is also part Maki's.  This is also Maki's first real relationship and she wound herself around it as tightly as one can, as soon as one can and learned a huge lesson because of it.  I remember as a little girl she was in love with the Littlest Mermaid -- and thinking back on it, she relived it in this relationship, giving up everything for love.  She was willing to give up family, culture, voice.  Yes, she was spunky and seemed independent, but in reality everything was all about the boy -- family vacations, place to live, when to move in together and that she would give up on her college to do so, what they would spend on,  who they hung out with which excluded much of her former relationships including us, her family because of he felt awkward and uncomfortable around all of us.  Again, nice boy, but really uncomfortable outside of his box.

He is moving back East, his home area, to go to grad school.  It became increasingly a reality to him that he really didn't want the relationship to continue into His Future.  That's what he calls it "My Future."   And it was over.  But did initiative come from him beyond saying it was over?  Maki took that on for both their sake.  She moved out, stored things in the garage and rented a bedroom for $400 a month  with one of their friends because it was too sad to be broken up and still live together.

Broken-hearted, she puts on a carefree face on facebook and moves on the best she can accepting the reality that it's over.    He calls for her to take care of his dog while he is in a month-long military maneuver to save him some money two months into the breakup otherwise, poor dog would be in a kennel.  She says of course.  Breaks down.  She wonders if it is going to be like this all the time when she sees him.  I say, "Yes, as long as you are doing things for him, it is not a clean breakup where you're going on with your life."    So she texts him, "I just can't do it. "   He says, "No problem. "   And then does what he should have done on his own, which is to send poor Charlee to his sister's farm where he can run free and eat right and be happy.

She moves all her stuff into a storage out of the garage so they don't have to see or talk to each other when he gets back from military maneuvers Friday this week.   Her plan to have moved into a condo was  dashed because she has been laid off with the 300 Comcast employees who were hired at the same time, ending July 1.  She rents a storage unit and moves everything into a storage unit, preparing to move back home for the work of job search.  I ask her why she has so  much stuff to merit renting a storage unit, offering space at our house.  She said, she took a lot of stuff that he did not want to take home to save him the money.  I sigh.  There's plenty of time to deal with that at another time, but I wish with these emotional ties, she would not have to deal with the stuff that she no more needs than he does.   Her last day of work she had called to ask if she could come home to stay from that time.  That was great, but then she paused,  "Oh, no!  I can't!  I promised to clean the apartment, at least part of it!"  

Shocked, I admit I need some clarification.  I asked, "uh . . the apartment you haven't lived in for two months while he has?  He can't clean his own apartment?"

"Well, I don't want him to be mad."

"He's moving out and away.  He broke up with you."

"Well, yeah, but I told him I'd clean half." (Do these two know that there is no half?  And probably, in my opinion, never been a half half relationship?)

"Maki, you know this is a first, right, in the history of women being dropped?"

She texts him and lets him know she couldn't return from Eugene to clean his apartment and he says, "No problem."  His dad is flying in to help.

This morning, Maki gives us the news.  Adam wants his car back.  The company (his mother;s) denied Maki and her father (with his flawless credit rating)  the ability to take on the lease.

Surprise!  The longest most drawn out and awkward break up continues.  She says, "I have learned never to wind up so much of my affairs with another person and wil never ever do it again."

I couldn't resist.  "I wonder why you chose to lease a car anyway with your debt?"

She said, "I didn't.  He did it for my birthday."

I bit my tongue.  An hour later, and looking at Craig's List and turning to the RG for something within the range of what she can afford with our help, $2000, and coming up with "motorbike"  I finally said, "so he's taking back the birthday present, and also is going out into the world clueless that we girls like to pick our own cars?  Real classy."

He texts her she can just leave the car at his friend's house (where she is renting a room for $400 a month) and leave the key with them, for his dad and him to pick up on their way out to the East Coast where Adam Johnson will finally be at home among his peeps.

I've a chip on my shoulder so I said, "It's kind of a white thing to want to take it with you.  His parents probably told him he had to get the car."  Maki rose to his defense, of course, saying he didn't want the car, and it was a birthday present.  Maki's dad remarks, "hmmmmm.  I wonder how his dad knew that the car company wasn't going to accept you before you knew, and knew to fly on over here."  I want to say, what kind of guy gives a birthday present that puts you in a "lease situation" where you need your dad to pay it, and then puts you in a situation at the last minute when you have to get a car on his time frame?" 

There is a long, awkward pause with her dad's question as she stares without blinking with nothing to say, and we could almost hear the click click click of her brain whirring.  Definitely, the longest, most awkward drawn out break up EVER!  It should finally end on July 3, 2013, an excruciating nine weeks after it first began.

Postscript:  Sigh.  It continues with one more accommodation needed by him.  He wants the car, with very little notice, tomorrow.  Will cannot  help make that happen because he is giving up a lot of work and cannot add another day plus we would have to get a motel in Portland. Being a reasonable and kind man, however, we are all willing to get up and out of here by 7 am on Wednesday to make sure we have the car to Adam way before he needs to pick his dad up at the airport at 10 am.    Adam has sent a text that he does not intend too accommodate us, and that he needs the car tomorrow night (despite the fact his father does not come in until the next day.) PERIOD.    Maki read his text hoping that we might be able to do this.  I returned her stare, and turned, laughing.  We live in the real world here and in the real world good people work things out the best they can.  We were willing to do that. Perhaps being in the army he thinks that people will jump if talked to in that manner, salute and say Yes Sir!  However,  even if  Mr. Adam thinks the WHOLE family should jump to accommodate his whims as Maki too often willingly did, it just is not realistic.

We will keep our mouths shut as Maki washed the car and cleaned it and filled the tank because we probably would take the high road too.  We don't say anything as she drives off tomorrow to take care of business and have the car available that evening to accommodate him.  Certainly, we will all drive up as soon as we can the next day to pick her up and take off for the next chapter, lesson learned, for her life.  Hopefully, she has a few more things to add to her list of traits a man must have and one of them hopefully will be respect for her family because she deserves it. 

She's been on a few dates now, and taking it slow,  not really thinking of anything serious, but the good news is that all are  much more respectful of her.  It took this to wake her up to the lesson that she deserves to be valued for her whole self as much as she values her partner, his friends, his family.  She should feel supported to bring her whole self in to the relationship, and not just leave everything behind in exchange for his world only.  I would say that the people I know she has dated are real men, and very much with their destiny in their hands and ready to treasure or share with someone rather than needing so much accommodation, so much adoration, so much one way.  More than that she is surrounded by quality women, including her parents (yes, I know Will is a man but we're a team) -- her Winnemem family,  her mom's closest Sisters -- Aunties and her Godmother who are back in her life, now that she is ready to enter this  next chapter.

I feel for her.  She did give her heart, and because of the kind of person he is, she put her life goals on hold, quitting college to move in with him.   I am proud that she learned that giving up one's whole self cannot make a selfish relationship a good relationship.  If one treasures, one also should expect to be treasured.  To build a relationship, the glue is the shared commitment to make one another happy and be true to one another. Next time, I pray for her, a reciprocal and loving relationship which lasts.

AINU

Grandpa said he had Ainu background.  Some of my family talked about it from time to time. On of my regrets is I did not pursue it.  At the time we as children just knew we were Nihon-jin and wished to be nothing else.  The language, the family, the foods, the values, all of it was Home.  But we always remember what Grandpa said to us.

Was it Ainu or Shinto which lay behind his teaching us about the ancient rocks which had a spirit, that everything had a spirit and taught us not to take life lightly.  I don't know.  Was it Ainu or Shinto which follows our ancestors, reveres them?  Europeans call it worship like they do their Christ.  But their Christ has to be perfect and omniscient.  Our ancestors touch our heart as they age, and become weakened in the body, and loving and compassionate and happy in spirit.  And they are around us when they leave their bodies behind, our guardian angels when we need them.  Is that Shinto or Ainu?

I wish I had enough days of reverence to have asked Grandpa.  But I only need to look at the path I am on to know that I know on another level -- not Ainu or Shinto -- but definitely my ancestors throwback girl.