Keeping the Faith After "Doubt"

We went to see "Doubt" tonight. Each of us had our own point of view -- substantially influenced by our own life experiences. Two former Catholics -- one East Coast New Englander; the other Venezuelan; one Japanese American retired school teacher; and two with experiences which they did not refer to in relation to the movie, so I can't say for sure.

Any analysis of "Doubt" in the end, as in reality, says more about the observer than the observed.
My own life experience has rendered me a person with no doubt. I don't know if that's good or bad, but it would feel earth shaking for me to be otherwise.

1. The priest was just a priest, being a priest as he believed he should be. Was he gay or straight? I don't know. What I do know is that his life experience led him to feel compassion for the African American gay child entering into puberty, and fear for him in the restricted, homophobic, racist society he had been born into. He felt protectiveness and accepted him for who he was. I had no doubt that his love for William was a nurturing love -- a love of a teacher, a preacher, a parent. Perhaps, then, he was gay to have such understanding of William and what he would be going through but we don't know. For sure, though, he was not a pedophile.

2. The young Black and gay student entering into adolescence may have had a crush on his priest -- as young people often do, of teachers, and adults they look up to. He did not have a father who understood or loved him or accepted him for who he was, a father who did not see the beauty he brought into the world.

3. Remember Nun Aloysius asked the mother accusingly, "what kind of mother are you?"
The mother may not have understood her son's sexual identity but she loved her son. The mother would rather his son passed into highschool, that his son was cared about by a significant adult, that her son could survive no matter what and that he was happy.

4. The Nun, Aloyisius, we all have experienced the hand of the Nun/schoolteacher/preacher/maybe even parent, so sure of what was natural and what was not that they would take radical measure to be right. Otherwise their world would come tumbling down. We know the person who would bully those they feared (fearing they might shake their control -- teens, authority, other points of view). Often these bullying people showed such contradictory nurturing to the helpless -- the elderly, the ill, those who did not shake their world. It's amazing how often people like these are put into positions of middle power, closest to the rank and file. Those in power would not put them with the children. Parents would be continuously complaining. And would not place them with themselves in their administrator's club.

5. The teacher, the Nun ________________, saw the priest hug the young student and it scared her. This child had no fatherly hug in his life. This child deserved to be hugged. This child needed a hug especially on the day he began to be seen as a problem child -- stripped of being an alter boy, harassed and humiliated, sent to the principal. We can remember even now, can't we, how a day like that made us doubt ourselves? But the Nun was afraid of the hug. She could only see it in the sordid light of her Catholic fear, homophobia, racial tension, and the sexual repression of the Fifties and Sixties. After the hug, she became the teacher authoritarian, bullying and humilating the young African American gay student for daydreaming, silencing another student for being excited to share the answer, sending him to the principal for answering her question, screaming at him, deriding him when he came back until he quaked in fear. "This is my classroom," she shrieked. And felt the loneliness and wrongness of a teacher who owned the classroom by herself.

It was perfect that the film was set in the 60's. We remember the Sixties. There was a revolution in the schools. Teachers were hugging their kids. They were teaching everyone's history. They were bringing relevance, interaction, play into thei classroom. Out went the texts. In came paperbacks, simulations, art. Down came the walls. Now, of course, teachers in the US are told not to even touch their students or they might get into trouble.

6. The day dreamer, the alienated student may not have heard the question or known the answer of Patrick Henry saying "Give me liberty or give me death" or FDR's "There is nothing to fear but fear itself" but he certainly knew it with every cell, living in a fearful world -- where a father loathed who he was, beat him, where he had to hide his true self or be beaten, where only one teacher loved him for who he was and cared what happened to him, even gave him that second chance, and that teacher left.

7. The teacher left because it is hard to teach with compassion in a toxic, fearful, dangerous environment. In fact, impossible because in the end, the children will be the victims of the hate which falls all around you. It stops if you leave for most students -- and for the few for whom you made all the difference in the world, they will be sacrificed, of course, and it will weigh on your heart.

8. Why did the child with the nosebleed smirk at the end? The priest had a weakness. He did not love all his student and picked on the manipulative boy who bullied others and made wisecracks. Picked on him about his dirty fingernails. All the students deserve to have some love, even those one finds unloveable and coach the bully, the manipulative student, to believe in the power of respect and saying what's true. And that proved to be his Achilles heel. The nun who disliked them all saw the reaction of the one student he did not nurture and treated with dislike, and used that student to brand him guilty for loving a student, whom perhaps she did not find loveable. Understand I am saying with a nurturing love of a parent, an uncle, a teacher.

9. The teacher Nun who inspired the story, I hope. became the teacher she truly was as the priest with all his heart and emotion counseled her to be rather than to be another Sister Aloysius.

10. And I hope Sister Aloysius felt doubt enough times that she became human and did not continue to cross boundaries with parents, her colleagues, and the children. My experience says, unfortunately, that would not be the case. Perhaps, an enjoyable retirement to a place she can't hurt anyone and can simply be nice to those who do not prove a threat to her -- the elderly, the sick.

11. My total lack of doubt might seem extreme, but I always look at the child, and William missed his priest and was heartbroken, according to the teacher. He was not a victim, but lost the only adult whom he knew to believe in him. That's my take on it -- 33 years of teaching -- i.e., being taught, and influenced by adolescents in a society not too different from that of the film. It's not an accident it was set in the 60's when education was under great change from the restrictive, propogandistic, segregated schools it had been for decades, and student teachers were reading Paolo Freire, Jonothan Kozol and others and opening free schools, some of which exist still today, schools in which the children are hugged by all of their teachers.

Forgive me. I'm not proofreading and will probably come back and change this many times. But tonight I came home from the movies and a great conversation which strengthened my faith more than doubt.

THE WINNEMEM SUPPORT PETITION TO BOXER AND FEINSTEIN IS AT 338!! PLEASE SIGN ON! THANK YOU

The Love Bug Strikes!

I've often written about Mom who's become the "Little Love Bug" of Southtowne, how she goes up and gives a little peck on the men's bellies, and on days we smear on her signature Revlon "Fire and Ice" lipstick during our visit, the med aides reports there are bright red kisses on all the foreheads of people in wheelchairs. They say she is always helping. I once found her in the laundry room where she had helpfully pushed a friend on a chair, and didn't know how to get out. I have no idea how she got into the locked laundry room.

I dropped in yesterday to check how she was doing after my morning visit because she seemed a little anxious. "Oh, she's happy today!" Debbie, the med aide, answered. "She ate 100 percent of her lunch and is helping everybody."

"Great!"

"In fact, she helped Tom so much she almost killed him. We had to do the Heimlich!"

Apparently Mom was sharing her sandwich with Tom, breaking off a little piece for herself, then for Tom, "One for me; one for you." Sweet picture except for, according to Debbie, "Tom is Puree." I guess the medaides noticed his blue coloring and ran over and picked him up. Mom kept insisting, "It's ok. He likes thinks it's good."

I was horrified, but Debbie just shrugged like it was another regular day at Southtowne saying, "Your mom wouldn't leave Tom's side until she was sure he was alright. She stood looking after him for quite awhile!'

WW/ The Case for Winnemem Restoration

Here is a video which features Winnemem Wintu tribal leaders -- Caleen Sisk-Franco, Chief; and Mark Franco, Headman -- who tell of broken treaties and violated sovereignty that their people have endured, and outline their efforts to regain federal recognition of their tribal status.


Restoration -- The Time Has Come from Moving Image on Vimeo.

AJR39

It was suggested by a good friend to copy AJR39 for people "to provide a powerful and persuasive explanation of the decades of injustices endured by the Winnemem Wintu people." I'm doing that here (with the apologies for having mis-named it AJR38) It took a legislator independent of the influence of the Congressman from the Shasta Lake dam area and who believed in justice to introduce it. The hope is the Senators Boxer and Feinstein will do the same, choose justice over politics and if not they, someone else in the House or Senate.

Here is the link to the online petition to the Senators:
http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/support-justice-for-the-winnemem-wintu-tribe

California Legislature—2007–08 regular session

Assembly Joint Resolution No. 39
Introduced by Assembly Member Huffman
August23, 2007
Assembly Joint Resolution No. 39—Relative to the Winnemem
Wintu Tribe.
Legislative counsel ’s digest AJR39, as introduced, Huffman.

Winnemem Wintu Tribe: federal reaffirmation.
This measure would memorialize the President and Congress of the United States, and the Assistant Secretary for Indian Affairs in the United States Department of the Interior, to reaffirm that the Winnemem Wintu Tribe possesses full federal recognition and all the rights and privileges that arise from that status.

WHEREAS, The Winnemem Wintu Tribe is a sovereign Indian
Nation, located in Shasta and Siskiyou Counties in California, and
consists of 122 enrolled and documented members, with its tribal
headquarters located in Jones Valley, California, on the site of the
Wintu Village named “Tuiimayallii”; and

WHEREAS, The leaders of the Winnemem Wintu Tribe met
with representatives of the United States for treaty negotiations,
and a treaty was signed by both the tribal leaders and the United
States at Reading’s Ranch on August 15, 1851; and

WHEREAS, The Winnemem Wintu Tribe was thus recognized
by the United States Government as early as 1851; and

WHEREAS, The Winnemem Wintu Tribe again conducted
negotiations with the federal government in 1889 through the
presentation of a letter known as the “Wintu/Yana Petition” to
President Benjamin Harrison; and

WHEREAS, The result of that petition was the sending of special
Indian agents from the Department of the Interior to California
who were given the task of securing land for landless and homeless
Indians, particularly the Winnemem Wintu; and

WHEREAS, Special Indian Agent John Terrell conducted a
census of the Winnemem Wintu Tribe in 1915 for inclusion in the
government land purchase efforts; and

WHEREAS, The federal government failed in its mission to
secure land for the Winnemem Wintu Tribe as a whole, and instead
granted individual land allotments to some tribal members
(Allotment, non-Reservation Indians), in areas known at the time
to be in danger of inundation by the rising waters of the planned
Shasta Dam, as cited by Special Indian Agent John Terrell in his
correspondence to the Department of the Interior; and

WHEREAS, During the years 1935 to 1943, inclusive, the
federal government began removing tribal burials for reinterment
in the United States Government Shasta Reservoir Indian
Cemetery, held in trust status by the United States; and

WHEREAS, Up through 1985, the Winnemem Wintu Tribe
received federal education, housing, and health services offered
through the Bureau of Indian Affairs, the United States Forest
Services, and the United States Fish and Wildlife Services, to
federally recognized Indian tribes and bands; and

WHEREAS, Title to at least some of the allotments issued to
Winnemem Wintu tribal members as recorded in the 1915 census
created by United States Indian agents are still held in trust on
those members’ behalf by the United States, and the United States
continues to forward trust income to some members in
acknowledgment of those relationships, demonstrating that the
special trust relationship between the United States and the
Winnemem Wintu Tribe and its members has never been
terminated, only misplaced; and

WHEREAS, Since 1985, the Winnemem Wintu Tribe has not
been listed as an Indian tribe by the Bureau of Indian Affairs, even
though it was never officially terminated as one and although it
continues to have land held in trust by the United States on its
behalf and have government-to-government relations with other
agencies of the federal government; and

WHEREAS, Due to the tribe’s omission from the list of federally
recognized tribal entities, members of the Winnemem Wintu Tribe
have been denied access to federal services such as education,
housing, and health services under federal programs established
for federally recognized Native American tribes, and the tribe does
not receive the protections provided by Congress for members of
federally recognized tribes; and

WHEREAS, Numerous state and federal agencies have
recognized or currently recognize the Winnemem Wintu Tribe,
including, but not limited to, all of the following:
(1) The California Native American Heritage Commission,
which lists the Winnemem Wintu Tribe as a legitimate California
tribe.
(2) The United States Bureau of Reclamation, which issued the
Winnemem Wintu Tribe a permit to hold traditional ceremonies
on the Shasta Dam.
(3) The United States Forest Service, which signed a
memorandum of understanding committing to consult with the
Winnemem Wintu Tribe when working in traditional tribal lands
and managing sacred sites.
(4) The United States Forest Service, which has posted
information about the Winnemem Wintu Tribe at interpretive
facilities at Fowlers Campground, Middle Falls, and at the entrance
to Panther Meadows on Mount Shasta.
(5) The Department of Transportation, which signed a
memorandum of understanding with the Winnemem Wintu Tribe
to consult with the tribe when transit projects encroach upon tribal
land.
(6) The federal government, which signed the Cottonwood
Treaty of 1851 that was not ratified, but has never been withdrawn.
(7) Until the mid-1980’s, members of the Winnemem Wintu
Tribe received United States Bureau of Indian Affairs housing,
health care, and educational assistance available only to members
of recognized tribes; and

WHEREAS, The Winnemem Wintu Tribe can document
injustice at the hands of the federal government since the 1851
treaty to recognize the tribe was signed by the United States
Representative but lost prior to registry in Washington D.C.; and

WHEREAS, The Winnemem Wintu Tribe is an historic and
traditional band of California Indians whose people are the keepers
of their religious places and practices and upon whose shoulders
is placed the burden of carrying forward the religion, traditions,
culture, and teachings of and for their people and who seek
restoration of their federal recognition for cultural purposes, not
for Indian gaming purposes; now, therefore, be it
Resolved by the Assembly and the Senate of the State of
California, jointly,That the Legislature respectfully memorializes
the President and Congress of the United States, and the Assistant
Secretary for Indian Affairs in the United States Department of
the Interior to reaffirm that the Winnemem Wintu Tribe possesses
full federal recognition and all the rights and privileges that arise
from that status, including immediate inclusion of the tribe in the
list published in the Federal Register under the relevant provisions
of Title I of the Federally Recognized Indian Tribe List Act of
1994 (Public Law 103-454); and be it further
Resolved,That the Chief Clerk of the Assembly transmit copies
of this resolution to the President and Vice President of the United
States, to the Speaker of the House of Representatives, to each
Senator and Representative from California in the Congress of the
United States, and to the Assistant Secretary for Indian Affairs in
the United States Department of the Interior.

Today is a Good Day for Justice!

I got so excited when I saw that 94 people have signed the Winnemem Restoration petition thus far and wanting to reach that 1000 mark, even exceeding it, so Senators Boxer and Feinstein will take notice. Check it out!

http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/support-justice-for-the-winnemem-wintu-tribe

Grassroots support such as this have been key in supporting the Winnemem Wintu people of Northern CA to bring back their coming of age ceremony, in their efforts to stop the further raising of Shasta Lake Dam, and for their continued struggle to gain restoration of their tribal status. The great victory last August, CA legislators passing AJR38 supporting restoration of the Winnemem has been sent to the US Congress by the Legislature. However, Senators Boxer and Feinstein are in a "wait and see mode."

Today, a few days after women around the world have been celebrated for their grassroots work (International Women's Day) please stand in solidarity with this courageous woman Chief of the Winnemem Wintu, Caleen Sisk Franco -- a woman who follows another remarkable and strong woman leader and doctor Florence Jones, and who took part of the UN Human Rights Declaration for Indigenous People and won the support of indigenous leaders around the world, a woman leader who led the War Dance at Shasta Lake Dam, brought back the Coming of Age Ceremony for her young daughter, a woman leader who stands without hesitation and for as long as it takes to protect the sacred places, the salmon, water, the right for her people to exist against all odds, in the face of dams, water bottling multinational corporations, genocidal US Indian policy. Please take just a few seconds to get on the webpage below and sign the petition for the restoration of the Winnemem Wintu and let Senators Boxer and Feinstein know that today is not a day to "wait and see" but the day to do the right thing for justice too long delayed! In solidarity, Misa

http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/support-justice-for-the-winnemem-wintu-tribe

A Long Journey to Justice

Please click on the link below to sign the petition for justice -- restoration for the Winnemem Wintu! Thank you, Misa

http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/support-justice-for-the-winnemem-wintu-tribe

Support Winnemem Wintu Sovereignty!
Winnemem Wintu Head Man, Mark Franco, created this online petition.

I ask you to take some time to join me and sign on/pass it on to your contacts to get a wide base response. The push for justice has started in earnest! According to Mark, "The Winnemem are heading to court and we need to develop as much support as we can." Please help. Thank you ! Misa

Today's Treat

Mom, apparently, was very lucid last night and spoke in Nihongo (Japanese language) for 50 minutes with Eric, med aide at Southtowne, about her youth in Idaho, the farm, what grew in the fields. Today, I tried to see if she would speak again in her first language. But she answered me in English. Maybe I'll get to witness another moment like Eric's. The thought excites both Maki, my daughter and me.

Today when we came back from our ride a Volley Balloon game was going on within a circle of elders. The big yellow balloon with a smiley on it would float in the air and some would kick it, hit it like a volleyball with two hands, swat it, or be hit in the head sending it floating upward. My mom would sit her eyes widened and when the balloon neared, her right hand would dart out quickly like a cat's, and the balloon would fly in an impressively controlled direction with just enough force. I felt the pride of a child athlete's parent for my 88 year old Ma. My daughter Maki felt the same, cheering her grandma on. "You have to write about this on your blog, Mom," she said to me, grinning at her grandma's accomplishment.

Just last week mom wasn't eating again, and sleeping way too much. I suspected a bladder infection since these are her symptoms. But the the test did not show enough bacteria to merit treatment. Nothing I did could convince anyone that something was amiss and mom wasn't just advancing into further dementia. I had some natural bladder medicine from my naturapath. I wasn't using it since my Winnemem family brought me Winnemem medicine. It occurred to me that I could give it to my mother and see if it would help. Something had to be done since mom wasn't eating and was disoriented and fearful. My mom responded within a couple of doses. By the next day, she was back to eating, her personality returned and today, she's batting the balloon around. I wouldn't miss any of this for the world -- her lucid moments, her "having fun" moments, her "love everyone and the world" moments, even the scary sick moments if they lead to getting well. I treasure my responsibility. What a ways I have traveled since mom first moved here, stressing out with trips to emergency over angina, extended sleeplessnes, worried she'd wander out into the night and the pharmaceuticals which robbed her of her personality. Three years later, she is safe at Southtowne, we can sleep at night, and although we cannot leave mother in their hands, with constant vigilance, a gifted naturapath, and teamwork with Southtowne staff who care about our mother, we have this precious time. I appreciate so many of the staff. Some are responsible for cleaning yet they take the time to love my mom. Susana tells her she's beautiful each day. Med Aide Katrina's sharp mind and eye catch on to mom's health needs immediately. Nothing drops through the cracks on her watch. Sarah gives mom such loving attention. Ysenia showers mom and always dresses her with care and fixes her hair so she looks quite stylish. This is not a small thing in a dementia center, and everyone does not do this for the elders. Mom is very safe and cared for even late at night by her special team of men on the night crew -- Jonathon, Jose, Freddie -- and, of course, Eric who makes Southtowne a home for her with kindness and compassion in Nihongo. Each of them are part of what makes our Mother happy. When we come back from a ride, Eric says "O-kairi!" welcoming her. And it makes me feel like I too have come home.

I deleted a recent blog to post this one in its place -- my ritual tonight, a symbolic act to commit to new priorities. I am making a commitment, inspired by my Chief, to spend my precious moments with people and commitments which give back and does not distract from a cycle of life. These treasured moments with my mom in my daughter's company is how I spent today and will spend many, many tomorrows.

This past week I spent with my Winnemem family up from California. My Chief, Caleen Sisk Franco and her husband and tribal Headman, Mark Franco came up to speak at PIELC invited by the Native American Law Student's Association. Things came into perspective quickly. For one, the daily challenges facing the Winnemem from all directions -- the federal government, the dam, Nestle's corporation, etc. diminishes any complaint. Two, the family feeling, the laughter is grounding. Three, the hike into the woods in Hendricks, the time spent looking through the collections in the Knight Library looking for Winnemem Wintu records brought focus all day on work which sustains rather than diminishes. And the spiritual work of the Winnemem leaders whether it was the way in which they began a meeting of very diverse peoples coming together to break bread and join in support work or whether it was to do ceremony to bring a shattered family back together, all of it felt so good to my husband Will and me as any time we are able to spend with our Winnemem family. They take care of us.

So, I will put in time with work on behalf of the Winnemem tribe who takes care of us. I will take a brisk energizing walk in the morning to the fairgrounds and spend some time with Homeless Connect, part of my network and with this joint work, it gives back many times over. I will celebrate a Sister friend who withstood crisis with great dignity tomorrow with others and follow it with a nice dinner with good friends and Maki, my daughter, celebrating Yujin Gakuen. I'll add more each day as other obligations end. Hopefully ahead of me will be time for qigong, walks, working to prepare for Coming of Age ceremony in June, and new adventures which are within a cycle of life and does not detract me with hierarchies and dichotomies. Some can do this well, but I never have been able to. It is no wonder I sought refuge among middle schoolers my whole life avoiding work with adults. It was silly of me to do any differently now that I am retired.

So hanging with mom and Maki, watching a yellow balloon with a smile drawn on it floating back and forth in a circle of elders, each one with a full and delightful personality despite dementia, was the treat I gave myself today.