Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Our next big move

Will and I are making our next big move as we enter (I have completely  entered) our senior years.  Our move is to move from our home of our adult years.  We have been in Eugene, Oregon, since 1969, coming separately from different places.  I came with my ex-first husband because he was transferred from the Seattle area to be a Scott Paper salesman here.  I had to quit my teaching job at Redmond, WA, Cherry Valley Elementary, and take a job with Monroe Middle School.  We lived in an apartment across the Ferry Street Bridge.  The Vietnam war was raging, and we had moved to one of the key places in the nation for the Anti-War Movement.  Will was part of the radical edge of the movement having hitchhiked from Rhode Island to join a movement and I was a school teacher by day, married to a tax man by then, working in the federal government and we were anti-war protestors after work.

In 1976, the war had ended with a whimper, the Watergate Hearings had brought down Richard Nixon a few years before years before, and I was no longer a teacher but a graduate student and actively part of the Asian American movement when our marriage ended in 1976.  We had moved into a decrepit house that year, on the market for two years just the year before.  I could see why it had not sold.  There was a colony of carpenter ants in the back toilet, a dried up cheese sandwich in the dark, extra room off of the living room, the paved floor sitting right on top of dirt, cold in the winter with little insulation.  Every carpet and curtain was oily and grimy and had to be thrown away.  The house cost 20,000, with monthly payments of $135 a month.  Amazing as it may sound, we could barely pay for it.  And when my ex gave it up to move into a condo, I took it one and moved back to take on the payments.  Without a job that was challenging.  Bob Flor, first Filipino PhD student in the School of Ed came to the rescue and moved in paying for the house payment.  I will always be so grateful to him.  Then I was so grateful I would listen for as long as he needed about his travails with his committee, and about his dissertation which was about gasp!  statistics and the Asian population in Education.

During the 70's and 80's I had many many young roommates coming through the house, at first to help me with the rent, and later just because we were family.  In Eugene during these decades it was very difficult to get housing as an Asian, Native American, African American or Latino.  So especially with AASU and NASU students, they would eventually end up with me whether it was the three weeks after giving notice before going home or for the school  year.  This house was also the party house.  Hardly any furniture cluttered the house so it was easy to push the few against the wall and have a dance floor.  So many stories these walls could tell -- stories of crazy multicultural parties, stories of work, struggle and change around justice anti-racism anti white supremacy issues., stories of friendships turning into family, still going on, we raising our kids together to call each other cousins, Uncle and Auntie.  I had remarried Will in 1987 and until we had adopted and fostered Maki and Margaret we lived with Greg Archuleta.  We also housed the "outlawed Klamath family" put in our home by CALC, the infamous Charles family, the father and three of his youngest sons where we learned more about police profiling and street life than we wanted.

Between 1987 and 1997 the house was basically a family home.  No more housing students, or street people.  These were tough years.  A lot of unhappiness since our little girl did not want to be with us, nor want to be raised.  Our foster daughter joined us and she had a playmate and it normalized a little.  We went a lot to California for  the real normalcy.  Our home was always an intense place whether changing the community or trying to make a family, and raise children for a healthy lifestyle.  During this period of time, I would say that Will and I pretty much treaded water the best we could.  These years we learned we could do nothing, absolutely nothing without the help of the Creator, of elders.  During the early 1980's Marvin Stevens, my Kickapoo father image put a sacred fire out in our back lot and literally it and that big Douglas Fir who witnessed everything was all that we could really depend upon.  Definitely our closest friends had moved away or turned out to not be able to help us because of the challenge of our daughters.  My so-called "best friend" and her family made it known that we weren't friends anymore.  My life was pretty much my job and taking my children to California, and Will's life was his office and business.

From about 2002 and 2010 we came up with the corollary for our children that they would never live with us again their having moved in and out several times.  Now they are happy in their own homes in their 30's, happy with their independence and Maki is very helpful with the house coming in to help her aging mother with things.  Other adults have come and lived with us for awhile, but not for long.  These had changed from the early days of this house.  It was now a house of two seniors who went to bed by 9 am and had their own way of doing things.  We have been here for about 45 years and about that many people -- 45 people have called it home for a few years of their lives.  In the past five years this house has become an outpost for the Winnemem Wintu tribe.  In the past decade two sets of twin fawn have been born in a deer bed

When I talk about moving, I am talking about something that is not only a major lifestyle change for us but maybe a shift for many people for whom this old house is a symbol of their youthful ideals, their first community, the time they took the power in their own hands, where two young women grew up and to which they returned to grow a little more and find their backbone, their stance.  We are praying that this old house will go to a family who will value the sacred Fire, know the Winnemem tribe and will continue being a stopping place, will value our Doug fir tree and will allow the back to be uncultivated enough that deer can be born there and take their first wobbly steps safely.  I hope a garden will always grow here and I pray that this home will still be a haven for the people who live here as it has been with us, as it has grown with us.

I never thought I would leave.  I never thought I would leave all it has meant.  There is some sadness in this leave-taking.  But sometimes as one ages they live in one place so long that all they had worked to accomplish, they witness it fall apart, or friendships conclude, or beloved people move away or pass away.  My home was where my mother took her last breath, and looked up to the ceiling in amazement as if she saw a legion of angels and ancestors coming to greet and welcome her.  So I am leaving a lot behind.

Will and I are looking on-line even before we can afford to move getting used to the market in Talent, Oregon, Phoenix, Oregon, or Ashland, Oregon.  My first choice is Talent, a little town close to the city of Ashland, bee friendly, with many ranch houses (we want a single story), and flat land which are easily made into garden area.  We have fought the rock soil at our home for decades.  Will makes the most beautiful fertilizer and compost soil and has grown a beautiful garden nonetheless in this clay soil. In Talent, I would be able to garden too!  I dream of a place close enough to the little town of Talent, the Asian antique store, the coffeehouses, the bookstore.  Or perhaps there will be an affordable home in Ashland!  South Ashland would be nice, quicker to California where the Winnemem Village is.  It is certainly a draw that we have cut a 6 hour drive to a 2 hour drive.  We can go to the Halloween Party!  Birthday parties.  We can get to ceremony quickly.  We can go into action for our Chief with little warning from her.  It makes sense that we move to where our work is and leave the town where our work has become more and more finished.  There is much to do to stop the raising of Shasta Dam and protect our sacred Mountain, and sacred places.  There will be more and more ceremonies.  It also makes sense to move where the youth still stand alongside their elders as a rule, not as an exception.  Getting older in Indian Country is nothing like getting older outside of it.  It makes sense to go where the parties and dinners which include our participation is happening.  Of course that exists here too, but it seems at the Village someone is always sending out an invitation on Facebook to gather together for a movie, for dinner, for planning an action.  Finally, but not less important at all, my little sister and her husband lives there.  We see them as we drive back and forth from CA, their home our refuge for the night.  But it would just be nice to be close to family.  She is already helping us find good places to put down our roots.

For all of the above, Will and I are moving toward Life, another adventure.  This home, I dream, will be like a "vacation place" as the Winnemem Village is our place of work.  My initial plan is not to become burrowed into the work of Talent or Ashland, add on no new obligations, not start anything new.  Obligation enough with Winnemem.  We will definitely be a stopping place for Eugene friends who come to Ashland, the area being a nice destination point.  We are blessed to have this chance because of Will's family's circumstance to make this kind of change.  I am full of gratitude -- for our home on Jefferson Street and its care and security and for the ability to move forward.


Thursday, July 9, 2015

We Love You (Official Full-Length) Rainbow Gathering Documentary

White Rainbow Privilege and Equality

If you think deeply about wanting to be equal to Chief Sisk, here is a slice of her life. You heard her, you saw her. You know she's a leader who should be heard about others, that she knows what she's talking about regarding her sacred territories. So if you want to be equal to the Winnemem you must give up what you have. You may think there are many inequities in your life now. You will have to take on more if you want to be equal to Winnemem. You must do all this work for Winnemem wage -- what we call working for less than nothing. You will be criminalized for practicing your ceremonies on your sacred lands. As the leader, you will have to give up a "real job" with retirement and health benefits to bring your people back to the Village life ways and live a couple of months without electricity because somethings gotta' go and during summer, heavy ceremony time when you must host the ceremonies -- definitely electricity takes a back seat. Then there are all the meetings and actions you will have to take on. You will have to fight every day corporations, government, USFS, BIA, for your basic human and civil rights because no document, and no law works for you. Yes, you, even if you are put upon now, will have to give up even more protection under the law. Oh, yes, and you can't get sick because you are taking care of everyone else and protecting your precious sacred sites from corporations, government, USFS and from large gatherings and people who think of the sacred as something to use, rather than protect, created for their individual wants, not sacrifice an easier life for a life dedicated to protecting these sites by following the sacred responsibilities modeled by the ancestors. I follow the Winnemem way of life so I also know from experience as you do your own ideas. I have learned from experience that the Winnemem way is the hardest life, but the best if I follow the traditional leadership who follows the Sacred. I have had to give up almost everything because when offered the opportunity to follow good leadership, to follow a leader with the ability and the experience and the vision of how to turn around this mass planetary destruction other leaders are gravitating for for immediate profit, to follow indigenous, truly follow indigenous, rather than just mimic what you think it is, one must give up a lot more than they get.




http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2015/07/06/what-is-privilege_n_7737466.html
I remember doing this exercise with Keisha Scott from Grinnell at a UO workshop for administrators and some professors. We, of course, were not admitted but went anyway. Keisha was there. In the final thoughts section there is an Asian brother who felt awkward of not fitting in the front or the back. I hope that helps him understand his role in society. I was lucky -- if one is to look at it from the point of view of "Clueless at the Top," meaning the higher you are in status the less clearly you see what is happening, what is the societal problems, and I would say, "which side are you on." The view is very clear at the bottom. So in that way I was lucky, stepping back step after step with questions regarding my parents, my grandparents plight as immigrants, their sacrifices making me the lucky one to become certified by higher education, "one step forward" but discriminated by my administrator, "one step back"; punished for speaking another language "one step back"; grandparents and parents labored for less than minimum wage "one step backward"; teased for being who you are "one step back." In real life, with that step forward which opened some opportunities to connect with college students with like background to me, it put us in the position of "change agents" which is a clear cut, powerful position for a youth to be in. We built a safer world for our children and grandchildren but be sure to pass on the legacy so they have clarity. Don't hide it. Don't "protect" them from the struggle. Stay in it. You owe it to your ancestors. And if you are lucky you may gain in tools, but stay put with the clued. No one wants to be clueless at the top. If you are a person who had a life of privilege, no guilt necessary. Just make those connections so your vision is clear. On my Facebook friend list is a generation of young white clear seeing people who are change agents, happy and courageous as well as a generation with such wisdom early because of the struggles of generations, and love which nourished them, a teacher, a parent a grandparent, a community who are also magnificent change agents. With the Winnemem tribe, my last and greatest teachers, it is by being true to self, ancestors and spiritual responsibilities where I have experienced the most clarity. I have great hope that together we will see the last of white supremacy with the double shame of racism and colonialism, stamp out useless guilt, and move beyond it. White Supremacy of the Earth and all its inhabitants must be left in the past for us to survive.

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Make a Village around you wherever you are

If you haven't seen this video yet it's a must
Posted by Viral Thread on Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

"from Outside the Belly" was also known as "TBAsian" from 2008-2010. Thank you for reading.

from Outside the Monster's Belly

from Outside the Monster's Belly
. . . following Earth instead (Rakaia River, site of Salmon Ceremony, photo credit Ruth Koenig)

Followers

Blogs I Follow

Blog Archive

About Me

My photo
Eugene, Oregon
I am a citizen of the Winnemem Wintu Tribe. I am a Nikkei descendant sansei (third generation);retired teacher, involved in the Winnemem tribal responsibility to Water, Salmon, and our belief that the Sacred is our Teacher. Working locally for human rights and supporting youth leadership.